Sunday, December 03, 2006

Merry Christmas!

I love Christmas time! Christmas lights, shopping, Christmas trees, yummy drinks at Starbucks…But this year it means something completely different, something more…which makes it even better. Let me first explain the history of Christmas in my family. I grew up believing in Santa Clause…until I was 12 (Don’t judge). We weren’t really taught the REAL meaning of Christmas. To us, it was the best time of year, where we got lots of presents, got to decorate our house and put up Christmas lights.
We got to open one present (usually matching pajamas) on Christmas Eve because we just couldn’t handle the suspense. On Christmas morning we would stay in bed and open our stockings until my dad was ready to get up. My parents would get everything ready and then take pictures of us walking down the stairs, capturing our faces in awe of all the presents that lay before us.
Christmas changed a lot when my mom died, especially since she passed only 3 months before. We didn’t want to have Christmas anymore…almost as much as we didn’t want her to die. So our family fills that void with even more presents. To show our love, to make it better….I don’t know. Well you start to get used to it after doing in for awhile and after last years Christmas I have so much to be grateful for, and to look forward to.
This year that void space in my heart is filled….maybe even overflowing. I have this amazing man in my life who just looks at me and I feel special…loved. What makes it even better is that we can spend Christmas together!
This past week I asked a friend what Christmas is…what it commemorates, why we celebrate it? I feel embarrassed because after 20 years of celebration, I didn’t know what it meant…or maybe I just feel differently about it now. Anyways, thanks to my wonderful friend, I know what it’s all about. And I’m excited to celebrate…Here’s to Christ! Merry Christmas!