Sunday, February 18, 2007

Let’s be honest here

I am at a loss of words right now….but not really because I am going to write this blog. I have been lying to myself, and a little bit to others and I didn’t even know it. I have been criticizing other people for lying to themselves and didn’t even realize I am doing it myself. I am a hypocrite. I am unhappy with certain things and have just been waiting for things to work themselves out…thinking I can wait it out, suck it up. But when I see someone else is in distress about his (or her) own life I encourage them to fix it because, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Wow! I wish I was as good as living it out as I am dishing it out...
I am going to school for something that I am not passionate about what so ever and I have been lying to myself about wanting to do this for a lot of reasons. I signed a contract, it’s a lot of money, I thought I would like it, I didn’t want to let anyone down, I, I, I…Excuse after selfish excuse. When in reality it is really hard doing something you are not passionate about doing and in the end, you know you aren’t going to be doing it anyways. Now I have to figure out what I am going to do…sigh...

Food for thought: "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful"

p.s. I miss Ty :-(

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Yes! I survived Valentine’s Day yet again…And surprisingly enough it wasn’t so bad. My past Valentine’s go something like this: I prepare a great outfit at least two weeks prior to the big day, even though I will probably only be going to work or school. I work myself up to expect some really romantic scene from the movies where the man of my dreams surprises me with roses and wisps me away to some romantic dinner and by about midnight when none of the above goes the way I plan I usually end up sad with a tub of ice cream…how cliché.
Why do I build my self up for a let down? I really have no idea. Most Valentine’s Days in the past I have been single and if I am in a relationship it usually ends up even more disappointing because he didn’t plan anything…nor give me roses. This year I really am with the man of my dreams and much to his dismay he actually was in town for the highly over-rated holiday. And now I think this is how every Valentine’s Day should be: We agreed not to get each other presents and just go out for dinner and spend a good night together. He did mention roses…He said, $80 for a dozen roses?! Are you frickin kidding me…They are just going to die…Sorry babe, no way was I going to get you that.” Oh and I think he also said he is going to get me a lil something which was later followed by “Ya, so I totally didn’t have time to make you that thing. Sorry babe” BUT, he did take me out to a yummy dinner and plan to cuddle by the fire. Now that’s romance for ya…I don’t need no stinkin’ roses! And come midnight…no need for a tub of ice cream!